Unfocused Mind Diaries part 1

2014… Year of Changes
June, near the end of the month, on a Sunday afternoon. My mind has been so unfocused and scattered lately, and getting worse the last couple of months. Anxiety attacks about what should be small things, but shake and bake my body and brain. These are followed by time staring blankly into space… important things forgotten like crumbled dry autumn leaves falling from the trees into the silence of deep winter. Names that I know well slip away like the last lick of a soft ice cream cone… gone.
Sitting in my truck in the sun in the church parking lot, with all the congregation gone home with their families already, listening to the song of the capricious winds dancing among the leaves of the grown up Weeping White Birch and big old Maple trees. Mother helped plant so many trees and shrubs here so long ago when we built stage one of this LDS church building in Pucker Huddle. She would be thrilled to see how well they grew; I can picture that in my mind.
Ah, yes, my mind… THAT is where I started, and what I wanted to talk more about on this sunny day full of puffy white clouds and wind-swept trees. My mind, and how it does not like to focus on things of importance in the ways of this modern world, but would rather drift off dancing with the leaves in the wind or sink deep into the earth to curl up and wait to be born again; to grow questioning tendrils reaching out like the roots of a tree to find the pockets of vibrant life force that nourish mind body and spirit.
Waiting; Nothingness, and yet Everything-ness. Calm, listening and observing; the curl of the hawks wing fingers as he changes directions in the wind; the sudden squawk of a Crow searching the ground under the tree for a bit of supper.
Supper…. That is right; I was invited to two different meals today with family and then friends! I had best be on my way.
>>>to be continued<<<

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4 thoughts on “Unfocused Mind Diaries part 1

  1. Cynthia Killip says:

    You have a way with words! You are a wordsmith!

    Like

  2. Darlisa, I think what you are experiencing is part of what we baby-boomers are going through. I sometimes have the same problems. Try not to get caught up in it, or else it can drive you mad.

    Like

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