The Gas-lighting of Women and Girls on the Autism Spectrum

I have been sitting here reading this article, and all the comments, and feeling more and more charged up, with feet tapping, holding my breath, rocking, and an overpowering feeling of connection to all of this.
I am nearly 60, recently resorted to anti-depressants after a major meltdown in life; and with frequently changing diagnosis in addition to major depressive disorder (which has never felt correct to me). ADHD was the first, minor BP another, they were both dropped by a new doc, then adhd re added along with Straterra.
I am starting to wonder if this could be the answer after all. Like many, I was told no because I am empathic, I laugh, and hyper aware of body language. Lately I am thinking perhaps that in reality my inability to understand the boundaries of others, my lack of the understanding of time passing, and avoidance issues might point to ASD.
Hmmm, what else… cathartic panic meltdowns in relationship disagreements that make no sense to me whatsoever. The Zoloft has mellowed the meltdowns mostly… but leave me feeling apathetic and non creatively inspired.
One odd bit, strange nerve jolts thru my body when I was tired and cold… the Zoloft mellowed that out as well, although they come back immediately if I miss a couple doses.
Very textural… if clothes feel wrong I will not wear them. Music can consume me… smells are powerful… are any of these things signs?
It is just that when I read blogs and such by people on the spectrum, I can relate! This and other blog posts by Seventh Voice are very informative.

Seventh Voice

Artwork by Mirella Santana

Of all the traits attributed to Women on the Autism Spectrum, there remains one that not only continues to go unrecognized as a valid trait but has also suffered the fate of being reconstructed by professionals as a rationale for denying Women a diagnosis.

The trait I’m referring to is that of developing a strong sense of self-awareness.

In almost every description pertaining to the experiences of Women with Asperger’s Syndrome there is evidence of the development of an early, inexplicable sense of ‘otherness,’ to be found.

This sense of ‘otherness’ expands exponentially as girls grow older and develops into a keen sense of self-awareness.

Their strong sense of self-awareness in turn, increases their sensitivity toward any and all experiences that suggest or confirm their perceptions of themselves as different.

Undoubtedly, whilst at school, undiagnosed spectrum girls will find themselves showered, almost daily, with an endless array of situations that…

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